People Will Stare At You

I've been thinking about this. Growing up is so scary. I think it happens whenever your age is going to hit a new multiple of 10. You get scared when you are 29, reaching 30. Or 39, reaching 40, and so on and so forth. I'm 19 this year. Strangely though, I have never felt anything different or scary when I was 9.

Look, suddenly I am not supposed to be childish anymore, or act childlike anymore. Look, suddenly I should not play around so much anymore but be serious in my life. Look, suddenly I am going to be an adult, or at least act like one.
Look, suddenly I have newfound responsibilities.
Because if I do all that, people will stare at me.

And I don't like that feeling.

From,
Ball N Biscuit
who is growing old.

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I have been asking some poly friends what they are going to do after NS. Some say they don't know, some say still thinking. And they are like, 22 years old. I don't want to be this undecided when I reach 22 years old, man. I don't feel comfortable leading a life with no sense of purpose, not knowing what you are going to do. I mean, I have a purpose, but it seems I am still undecided what I want to do in the future. Part of me just want to stay in this beautiful country and lead an ordinary life, just like everyone else. The other part of me wants to get out and do something not so ordinary.