The Last Hope

I feel quite empty yesterday night and today. Empty not in the sense that all hope has left me, but empty in the sense that there is this feeling you feel when you lost something you possessed, and have completely given up hope finding it back, and in the process find yourself having to re-adjust for the sake of it.

And it becomes even more empty when it is someone you have lost. I felt the same way when Grandma passed away too, even more so than now. But I know the feeling will soon pass away. I think it is not just me. But perhaps most of my relatives would feel the same. That we should mourn for those three or four days and after that to resume our normal lives would make us feel quite uncomfortable. It will take us some time to readjust. That we are expected to suddenly forget Grandpa and move on so quickly makes us feel uneasy.

They say time heals everything. I think that is nonsense. It is desires, or attractions, or some kind of other hopes that heals everything. For me, it is God. For others, it might be that there is some other hope or comforts lingering around, like their children who are still alive, or their parents who are still alive. Or their careers which they must return to. Or when they think about some future ahead it gives some hope. There is always something to return to. It is not time that heals. If God were to give you an eternity to get over someone precious that you have lost, but in the process remove all other hopes which you might possess, you will find that you will never get away from that state of feeling empty. You will feel empty forever. So it is not time that heal. When the Christian says that 'God heals', he means it in every sense of the word. For the one who believes in God, and also for the one who doesn't. What heals you is what God provides, be it your children, your future, or any other kinds of temporal hope that you might possess.

One day these hopes will be gone. Your children will be gone. Your parents will be gone. Your careers, your wife, your husband, your close friends will be gone. Sometimes they all go before you. And when they are gone, what else is there to provide the Last Hope?