Sian!

Less than 24 hours to book in again. Saturday guard duty has caused me to miss:

1) Friday night's TFC leaders' meeting. Second time I missed in a row. Can bet how blur I am right now.

2) Saturday night's SG groups gathering.

3) Sunday's church service.

Sian.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teenage Angst and Too much Pride

On thursday I criticized a platoon mate of mine, because he had too much pride in himself, and quite frankly I find it hard to tolerate, after tolerating for so long. Not just me, but my entire bunk. He is the kind of person who likes to bring down the dignity of others, in order to make himself feel good and high and mighty. And the lame thing is, he even takes this stupid pride business of his to the world of computer games. I only have 2 words for him: teenage angst. I hope one day he will grow out of this. But he's 20, and he's older than me! What is happening...

So on thursday he tried to make my friend S feel bad again (for not running fast enough). Basically both of them are poor runners who failed their IPPT test, and M always like to ridicule S for his running (if he wins; if not, he pulls a long face). When M runs, he does not run to beat himself, and to improve. He runs to beat S. And even if he fails in the end, he will be happy because his ego is boosted by his 'win'. This time round, I decided to speak up for S.

M: Wow, S...how are you feeling right now? You must be, like, s***, how come I so lousy?
S: *keeps quiet all the time*
Me: M, I think your mind is screwed up, you know, the way you think. Screwed up. Why do you think S should feel bad just because he lost to you?

And so I went on and on criticizing him, and his pride. I criticized even the way he play computer games. The way he played DOTA. The way he played Risk. Through all these small chidlish things everyone can see how much pride he has. If you beat him at DOTA, he goes home to train, so that he can beat you back and ridicule you. How lame is that? Beat him at Risk, and he pulls a long face and says he has no more mood to play, until he regains power and starts his ridiculing nonsense again. And at one point of the game, he remarked, 'Hey, let's stop playing Risk la. It spoils your character.', to which I remarked, 'Not if you play it properly.' It is not the game that spoils a person's character. M's character is already spoilt even before he plays the game, and the game simply brings out the ugly side of him. His pride is too much for him to handle.

And he is 20. Playing like a 8 year old kid, full of pride. I remember I used to cry and refuse to pay my opponents money when I lost at 'Monopoly'. That's exactly how he is playing. Like a kid.

Even A came to help me argue. 'The problem is, you play to make yourself feel good.' And I continued my ranting. 'My soccer skills is better than yours. Does that mean you have to go train now to beat me? In everything sure got people better than you, won't your whole life be very busy and miserable?'

At this point he kept pretty quiet, and S remarked, 'Finally somebody said something.'

I hope M keeps his mouth shut the next time.