Dream

Maybe I have watched too much mob/crime movies in the past month. Dreamt that I was a murderer.. along with another friend of mine. We were driving this car, and wanted to rob a train. Don't ask me for what, or why. The dream starts this way, like a good movie. This is the only part that is good. The rest of the movie sucked. You will see why.

My accomplice told me to slow down the car on the railway track (!!!) in order to slow down the train and bring it to a halt. Ok, we all know this does not make sense in real life. The train will just run us over and we will be chopped meat. This is not good filmmaking. But it happened in my dream - the train really slowed down and stopped because a stupid car was bloody blocking its path.

And it was our action time. I drew out a gun - how cool was that - as did my accomplice, and before I knew it we had killed all the people onboard. A good 2 or 3 of them. Their bodies piled up on one another. Turns out the 'train' was only a small cabin. And I had no idea what we were there for, but took away with some technological gadget anyway. Bad filmmaking again. The props and script does not fit with the times! We were two bloody mobsters (i think) in the 1900's, and we had to steal some high-tech gadget. Fantastic.

Then the rest of the movie/dream I was a chicken. I was paranoid. People questioned me. They make me scared. I tried to destroy all evidence. Surprisingly I also took some of the deceased's clothes (who in the right state of mind would?) and somemore their clothes had names on them, like our army's uniform tags. So imagine if I would wear them... I would be the stupidest criminal on earth. Anyway, yes I was quite clever so I disposed of them. It is good to see yourself retain sanity in such a senseless dream. And somehow those high tech gadgets that we took.... had receipts - and they were in my trousers! So I got rid of them too. I remember climbing through pipes and hiding them in impossible places. Clever me.

But the movie ended here. I didn't have the chance to see if I was caught. But I think nobody is interested.

I think dreams are really fascinating. Much of the dream is really anti-reality, but at some parts you could feel - while sleeping! - that it is pretty real. You feel your feet moving, your hand moving, your mind thinking, although all this while you were snoring away. The most 'realistic' dream I had was when I decided to jump off an SMRT track one day. Again like good filmmaking it doesn't tell us why or for what. So I jumped. The physics was incredible. I felt like vommiting. Whoever says there was no sensation because it was a dream was wrong. It really felt like jumping down, like when you lost your grip on a rock wall and fall that kind of feeling.

Amazing thing isn't it, dreams? I subscribe to the theory that dreams are actually mostly dormant thoughts or experiences in our lives, mostly recent but apparently doesn't necessarily have to be. So the more you think about something, the more probable it will appear in your dream... maybe that night itself, maybe few months or few years later. But most of the time we wake up and forgot what we dreamt about, though it might be quite familiar to us. Like deja vu. But all mixed and matched because of our experiences and thoughts at different periods in our lives.

That is why the movie always come out so senseless and insane it is laughable.

On Love

You know those times when we will teach, or listen, or hear someone say, 'Love is not what people nowadays think it is'. And then you have to ask, 'Then what exactly is it?' And the good/sad thing is (depending on how you see it), the Christians will tell you that 'Love is a will to wish the best of the other person' (or something along this line).

Well, nice definition. But it is becoming like a cliche. I know what it means, and I agree with it, but that sentence is one of those things that are becoming meaningless. I don't mean to say that just by saying a true thing many times over it becomes false any more than repeating nonsense a thousand times make you look intelligent. Far from it. It is meaningless because the people saying it are not loving people. Am I saying only people who love can say it? Well, in a sense, yes. Yet at the same time it is a no, because there is no one who had truly loved completely apart from Him. And what mystery that He claims to be Love Himself! Thus in a way we are to say it and explain it, and in a peculiar other way, we cannot possibly explain it to the degree that love actually deserves. In short, whatever we try to explain of love, it is not perfect, even that sentence that Christians think what love really is. Who understands it perfectly? And more often than not, the person after hearing this, goes off no more the loving person than he is now, and understanding love not a degree better.

I do not mean stop preaching love. Preach it, but better than that, practise it! I used to have some criticisms of Pastor, as I believe do some in our midst. But I have found out one thing that makes me ashamed of myself: he can love better than I do.

And I believe I have much to learn from him, if only I humble myself, and I sure have much to learn from God, if only I humble myself. If not, Love, to me will always remain of mere meaningless words, and not of deeds.

Let's Get Superficial

I have told one of my friends that he is superficial. And he knows it, and he is proud of it! I was watching those korean dramas in camp, and he was like 'Eh, got this girl come out, call me ok?' and then he criticizes the show though he don't bother to care about its plot. Nevermind. I shall now try to be superficial... like him.

What kind of lady do I like?

1) Shorter than me < 1.75m.
2) Long haired brunette
3) Pouty and luscious lips.
4) Lovely smile.
5) Cute.
6) Big eyes that shine like stars.
7) Fair skin.
8) Eyebrows not too thin.
9) Looks lovely in skirts.
10) Pure and demure.

Okay, you must be thinking... this lady does not exist right?

WRONG!!!

Here she is:

On Baptism Class and Lousy Expression of Words

Just went through the first baptism class. One question I knew will be asked (and did come up) was 'Are those Christians who were not baptised, true Christians?'

Well, yes, they can be. And there might be those who are physically baptised, and still not Christians (thought that would be very sad). Anyone disagree with me?

Anyway there was one point when we were asked by Dr. Wee to describe what baptism means to us. Most of us said that it was a sign of God's grace, and an outward expression of it. I agreed, and elaborated that baptism was mostly a declaration "for the church" (and the world of course, but I forgot to mention that, how careless) and then I said I felt baptism "does not really change anything".

Siao liao. I knew at that point I was going to be misunderstood. Does baptism change anything? Of course it does! What I meant was that baptism can do nothing with regards to our justification. All protestants will agree that justification is through the blood of Christ, the finished work of Christ on the cross, received by faith alone. Baptism thus does not change anything with regards to justification. If we are saved, then we are, by faith, on the basis of the finished work of Christ, already; baptism thus will not change this fact. We are saved apart from works. If baptism becomes a 'work' for us, then we relegate Christ to providing that which we lack, and Christ is not all.

However, I do believe baptism has its usefulness. Apart from visible changes like:

1) a public declaration of our faith
2) a demonstration of God's grace
3) an act of obedience to follow God's command

I do believe that through the actual process of baptism, through the partaking of the monthly Holy Communion , we are to be regularly reminded of our sinfulness and our pledge to follow Jesus and obey Him, and these are the spiritual benefits of baptism. It makes us refocus and readjust our priorites. Thus the change is in our sanctification (if this is the correct word to use) or our spiritual growth, not our justification, which is fixed and finished, and perfectly completed by the death of Christ. The Holy Communion can be a means where the Spirit teaches us and reminds us what we have taken by faith - the death of Christ, the effects of His sacrifice etc.

And to take a look into the 'Christ our Life - a Communicant's manual' - the book we are studying, I can say that 80% or even more of the information inside does not apply to baptism. It applies to the basic faith of all Christians. I am not downplaying the importance of baptism, but then again, peace, prayers, regular studying of the Word of God, communion with God, walking in the Spirit, obeying the commands of God, decidedly following Jesus, are not the job of the baptised, but of all who profess to believe in Jesus, baptised or not.

Misinterpretation

Will be something that will continue to plague all of us.

Til we reach heaven.

We know not the hearts of men, and their deepest thoughts.

On War Films and HMV

A look at my stash of DVDs will reveal how much I love war films. They form the largest number I have of any genres. Saving Private Ryan (4/5), The Thin Red Line (4.5/5) are the ones I possess. Merry Christmas (3.5/5) can be considered as having sub-war theme. I have also watched

1. The Pianist (4/5),
2. The Longest Day (4/5),
3. The Schindlers' List (4/5),
4. Brotherhood (4/5)
5. Enemy at the Gates (2.5/5),
6. Pearl Harbor (0.5/5),
7. part of The Greatest Raid (unable to rate),
8. We Were Soldiers (2.5/5),
9. part of Windtalkers (unable to rate),

though the last five films I mentioned are mediocre stuff. The rest are great though. I also can't wait to watch Flag of our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima, both by Clint Eastwood. Somehow a director can produce either a war film that I absolutely love, or one that I will absolutely hate. A good war film will make me think about its futility as the deeply philosophical The Thin Red Line had done so effectively, and even cry for its showcase of humanity and morality, as in The Pianist. A bad one, makes me cry because I have wasted my time.

Tora! Tora! Tora!, a 1970s film depicting the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, has just been added to my collection. Bought this and The Godfather at HMV just now. And I am eyeing Francis Coppola's Apocalypse Now (which is about the Vietnam War)... if I have the money.

Truth to be told, it was a pretty good film. It was shot from both the Americans' and Japanese' point of views. Better than the crap that was Pearl Harbor, which was destroyed by a very lame subplot involving Kate Beckinsale and the two handsome boys (Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck), which I JUST DON'T CARE. You know how subplots can kill the entire show. Enemy at the Gates started off very impressively. It showed the Russians' loyalty to protect 'the Motherland' and in their cause for their communist ideas, charged, almost unarmed at several German machines guns. Many lost their lives. The scene was fantastic, but the movie was let down by a lame sniper versus sniper subplot. From a war film it degraded into personal rivalry between 2 people... how lame is that!

I was also amazed at the way Tora! Tora! Tora! was shot. Techologically speaking, it was 30 years back, yet when compared to Pearl Harbor, it looked more realistic. I really wonder how they actually shot it. It is void of any lame subplots, but is actually a historical play of what happened, much like in The Longest Day. Though I have to say it was also its downfall. It looked like you are reading from a history textbook. It is totally historical. And the lack of human emotions means that the only thing that is there left for me to like was its almost epic scale of the attack. It promised much action, and it delivered at the end.

Now unto HMV. You know how the prices of their DVDs can change so drastically. I am eyeing their The Usual Suspects, a thriller film. It was priced at $68 the last time I looked at it. Now it is at $48, still insanely high. I am determined to wait a while longer for the price to drop before I actually buy it. Some other films I am tempted to buy are The Insider, starring Russell Crowe, and Se7en starring Brad Pitt, and The Godfather Part II.